The Mother Archetype
The Mother Archetype. She gets me every time.
Last night was a beautiful experience of her presenting to me as a woman wild with nature and her belly pregnant with the Earth. She was warm, caring and she emanated love towards me. It has been a winding road to get to here, where I see the Mother figure as loving. And I thought to myself, “I’ve made it, yes. Healing the Mother wound…”
And then it hit me. The other side of my Mother wound.
Tonight the grief for my fertility and pregnancy loss is overwhelming. It feels overwhelming because it is not something I allow myself to feel too often. Having been through these healing steps to get to the incredible place I am today, I know that the twin souls did not make it to Earth-side because at that time I was not strong enough to have broken the generational trauma. I would not have been the mother I would have wanted to have been.
And although a part of me is thankful that we did not go down that path and I have been able to focus on deep healing that was so needed for my well being, I am angry that I left this healing too late. I am angry at myself because having to reconcile with the real possibility that I will never be a mother feels like a piece of me rips apart.
Knowing the incredible strength and love I have within me. Knowing the beauty of this healing I am on. Knowing my capacity to love and nurture, to create, inspire and to teach. I would love to ask for just one soul to love and nurture, to cherish and to sing lullabies to.
So just for tonight, I am crying not for the mother I wished I’d had, but for the Mother I know I could have been.
Chantelle Dawn Skye ©
24th March 2022
